How to ride the emotional rollercoaster of self-employment (from a serial entrepreneur)

How to ride the emotional rollercoaster of self-employment (from a serial entrepreneur)How to ride the emotional rollercoaster of self-employment (from a serial entrepreneur)Entrepreneurship has been seriously glamorized.Everywhere you look, people are extolling the values of hustling, grinding, and burning the candle from both ends. If you just put in the work, the story goes, youre going to be riding in Lambos and rolling in money.Yeah, maybe.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moraThe reality is that entrepreneurship is an emotional rollercoaster- its either going to kill you or make you stronger. Most entrepreneurs out there are wrestling with this flux day-in and day-out. No doubt, the lifestyle can be exciting. The work can be incredibly fulfilling. But it can also be insanelystressfulat times.If youre going to build your life around your company, you have to learn about the ups a nd downs, and figure out a realistic way to keep yourself from flying off the tracks every time you hit a peak or a valley.After starting my first of many businesses nearly two decades ago, heres how Ive learned to think about itYoull feel every type of emotion at some pointThere are so many dualities to the emotions you feel as an entrepreneur.Victory and defeat.Passion and hate. Bliss and stress. Youre going to be bouncing from one side to the other regularly in the early days.Some days youll feel an amazing sense of independence.Youll get that rebellious feeling that comes with stepping outside a normal nine-to-five job and making it work. I got the client. I won this pitch. Nothing feels better.Other days youre going to be seriously stressed.A rejection might stir up anxiety about whether you can actually make your company work or not. Youre going to have sleepless nights and frantic thoughts about what the heck youre even doing.So you have to learn to look at emotions more obje ctivelyIf you lose yourself in those peaks and valleys, youll wind up completely drained. To avoid exhaustion, you have to learn to be less reactive.Im not saying you need to rid yourself of emotion and never take any joy in your accomplishments as an entrepreneur. But when youre riding a hot streak, you cant get cocky. And when youve been rejected ten times in a row, you cant let it destroy you.Personally, whenever I lose a pitch ormiss out on a client, I immediately think about what Ive already accomplished and the number of times Ive succeeded. It helps me stay balanced in that moment of doom and gloom.You can even look at it from a more analytical angle- its a numbers game. You can increase your odds by honing your skills, but youre still going to get rejected sometimes. All that matters is how you deal with that dismissal.Brace yourself to handle rejectionI cant stress enough how important it is to handle rejection well.If you had a 100% success rate with pitches, youd be the w ealthiest person alive. Obviously, thatsnot going to happen.In the words of Seneca, A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.Of course, youre going to make some mistakes along the way, but the only way to get better is by learning from them. When you get rejected, take a step back, analyze what you could have done better, and then move on.That last part is important.Dwelling on rejection past the point of analysis wont change anything. So you didntsell themon your product. Well, the earth revolves around the sun, and zebras have stripes. Its just the way things are.Quit worrying about the facts, and start thinking about how to improve your pitch.Create a routine for internal workEvery entrepreneur needs to have a way to center themselves and handle the pressures that come with setting out alone.For me, that meansmeditationand visualization. I practiced martial arts growing up, and that welches where I learned a lot about discipline, respect, and the importance of being humble. Mediation is a part of martial arts, but I ended up adapting it to what I do in the business world.When I started in sales, I visualized myself being more approachable, being more effective when I was pitching. It was my way of de-stressing and doing internal work.But as much as Id love to say that was all it took to keep my emotions in check, it isnt true. Sometimes, youre going to need more than you can offer yourself.Look beyond yourself to build a great support networkI had to learn this one the hard way.When I first started out on my own, I thought I had to take every bit of work I could get my hands on. I chose to be the cheapest option to get the most work. Of course, I eventually learned that I should be doing the opposite- being selective with clients, charging more, doing great work.Butthose first coupleof years as an entrepreneur were rough. I was under a lot of stress. I lost weight. My stomach was killing me. And finally, I realized I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was like a plant dying to get a little sunlight. Fortunately, I figured out what I needed to do.I had to talk to people who knew what I was going through.So, I started looking for like-minded people- other entrepreneurs who were in the same boat or had been there before. It changed everything for me to be able to talk to people who knew aboutsleepless, nerve-wracking nights.The stereotype of the entrepreneur is a lone-wolf genius grinding 24/7. And like a lot of the cliches about entrepreneurship, its not only wrong, its unhealthy.Striking out on your own can genuinely be the most rewarding experience of your life. I wouldnt trade it for the world.But just like any rollercoaster, youll have a lot more fun if youre not riding it alone.This article first appeared on Minutes Magazine.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds 10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

When is it OK to quit my job A definitive guide

When is it OK to quit my job A definitive guideWhen is it OK to quit my job A definitive guideSometimes a new job is more than you expected. It doesnt align with your interests or the environment is unbearable, whether because of your new boss or coworkers.Whatever the case, you want out. The trouble is, youre leise fairly new- less than six months or so- which begs the important question when can you quit?Quitting a new job comes with several major concerns, namelyUpsetting your manager and coworkersFacing negative professional consequences down the line, like future employers considering you less reliable for a jobBeing judged by your friends, family, and even current coworkersAnd, as a result, you may find yourself feeling obligated to stay, lest you become labeled as a flaky job-hopper.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreBut dont let these concerns force you into sticking it out at a job youre ill-suited for or that falls short of your expectations. Quitting a new job happens- and though elend ideal, its also leidlage the end of your career or reputation.When its OK to quit a new jobIf you look up job-hopping, youll find that there are varying interpretations of what it means to job hop. Some suggest its holding two or more consecutive short-term positions others say itsstaying in a role for less than two years.Regardless of the exact definition, job-hopping is often perceived negatively- and fear of being labeled as a job hopper makes us stay in roles that simply arent good for us in some big way.But this can be detrimental for several reasons. For one, youre essentially trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, and secondly, you may be missing out on better career opportunities out there.Not to mention,theres no set frame of time for when its OK to leave a role. Its not unheard of for someone to leave after three months, or even two weeks- in fact, som e people have evenquit after one day.But in deciding whether or not to quit a new job, you should have a solid justification, rather than pure whim or a casual dislike. Though not an exhaustive list, here are some good reasons for leaving a position.Your job does not fulfill youWhen considering whether or not to stay in a role, Dawn Carter, Director of Early Careers atIntuit, suggests asking yourself, Does your job bring you joy?Carter explainsYou dont have to love every part of your job, or even every day of your job, but you should find joy and fulfillment in what youre doing.Sometimes this joy can come from actual tasks or results, or by being part of a company mission bigger than yourself, or by being on a team that accepts you for who you are.The job isnt quite what you applied forFor some people, the excitement of starting a new job is quickly lost due to the realization that its not at all what you thought you applied for.This could be because the job description welches poor ly written, or a recruiter or hiring manager misled you in the scope of its responsibilities. Regardless, somewhere along the way, poor communication led to a misunderstanding of the actual job- setting you with a false idea of what to expect.To me, if you arent happy at a job or it was missold to you, leave as soon as possible, Brett Holzhauer,freelance writer and digital community manager, advises. There is no point in making yourself miserable or unhappy for a paycheck.Theres a poor culture fit and/or work environmentWork culture matters- that includes your workplace environment, and the way your coworkers and upper management treat you.In fact,38% of workers report wanting to leave their jobsbecause of a toxic work culture or feeling that they dont fit in.Can you blame them? Whether its mismanagement or office politics, a poor company culture decreases employee morale and makes people feel undervalued.While some might say poor culture fit is a matter of giving an organization mo re time, it can be easy to sniff out large work environment issues right away. In some cases, you might even observe outright harassment or discrimination in your new workplace. If thats the case, you have every reason to abort.Your mental or physical health is affectedFinally,youre more than justified to leave if a role is taking a physical or mental toll on your health.When I knew I had to leave was when my mental health started to suffer, Bob Haegele, blogger atThe Frugal Fellow, shares. I was extremely stressed out, and lets just say that I was starting to wonder if I could even keep going. Why even get out of bed in the morning? That sort of thing. I had to take a step back and reevaluate.Examples of how your health might be impacted includeHeadachesFatigueSleeping difficultiesMuscular tensionHeart palpitationsOverwhelming stress and anxietyCognitive problems, e.g., trouble concentrating or making decisionsWhen to consider staying a little longerProlonging your stay at your job may not be your first choice, and its by no means necessary. However, its worth weighing your current role with the alternative, and considering whether you should leave right away or stay just a little longer.It might be appropriate to stay at your new job for a little longer if either of these situations apply to you.Your finances could use a boostIf leaving your current role puts you in a financial struggle, it may be worth staying in your current job.Do a quick audit of your finances to get an idea of where you stand. Ask yourselfWhat are my regular monthly expenses?Do I have any outstanding debt?Do I have anemergency fund to tide me over? If so, how long would it last?Although you may not be in a good place to leave your job immediately, that doesnt mean youre doomed to stay in it forever, of course. Consider staying for only as long you need to- until you find a better job opportunity or youdevelop a nice financial cushion.But again, if your new job is taking an unhealthy phy sical or emotional toll on you, thats a completely different story.A paycheck is not worth staying in a negative work environment with deleterious consequences.The next opportunity you find doesnt seem to be much betterThe first job offer you receive may feel like an easy escape route, but be certain that it aligns with your larger career interests. Otherwise,youll put yourself at greater risk of developing a job-hopping reputation.Jonathan Valdez* describes discovering a poor cultural fit in his current role that was not apparent in his initial job interview.As a result, he began seeking out other jobs and even received an offer after four months. However, after weighing the offer, Valdez opted not to take the new job. He reasonedI declined the offer as it was not my bringing me closer to the dream job anyway, and instead, I decided to try to improve the situation at my current job This has worked well, is still in progress, and in the long run, will be a much better experience for myself. It has also helped me build new skills and demonstrate even more value to the company.Your current role may not be a great fit, but that doesnt mean you should drop it the first chance you get. As Valdez suggests, Either try to work on it or move to something better for you Do not make a habit of having less than six months or one year at companies.How to Quit a New JobSometimes all signs point to the necessity of leaving your position. If thats the case, take these next steps to quit your job.Consider your optionsGive yourself some time to think through the logistics of quitting. Specifically, considerIs it possible to make an internal move?If its the role itself that you find issue with, perhaps a departmental move may be a better choice than leaving a company altogether.How urgent is your departure?That is, can you afford to wait until you find a new job first? Consider your financial circumstances and whether you can feasibly job hunt on the side rather than quitting im mediately.Can you switch to part-time or remote work?No, this isnt a complete fix for a bad job, but negotiating to become part-time or work remotely may help mitigate some of your least favorite aspects of work.What does the fine print say?If youve signed an employment contract, make sure you fully understand its terms and the consequences of an early departure. Resigning earlier than anticipated might mean giving up any bonuses, commissions, profit-sharing, or other benefits- and its best to educate yourself so that you arent caught off-guard by a notice from HR.Leave graciouslyAvoid burning bridges. Your departure doesnt come without a cost to others- the time and resources spent onboarding you, for instance- so its best to be professional and courteous about leaving.To make your exit as smooth as possible, try the followingBe honest with your manager.Kelan Kline, co-founder ofThe Savvy Couple, left his first job out of college, a role in insurance sales, after just two weeks. De scribing the experience, Kline said, I found that the best way to communicate was by being open and honest. For me, to stay any longer was a disservice to my manager and everyone else training me. I think many people like to beat around the bush when it comes to communicating, and that just doesnt work well.Give appropriate notice.Giving your employer two-week notice is the norm when leaving a job, butits not legally required. That said, although it may be tempting to make your exit as quick as possible, providing your manager with an appropriate amount of notice is a courteous and respectful gesture.Dont beat yourself upI think quitting carries some serious shame with it, Bethany McCamish, afreelance writer and graphic designer, shares, especially when working in public service of any kind.McCamish, a former teacher, describes feeling a need to stay for others rather than acknowledging what was best for her There is a serious feeling of obligation rooted in guilt of not helping tho se around you. The fact is, when your life is about serving others, you can forget about yourself and thats not healthy at all.But this guilt doesnt only affect those leaving a role in public service - you may find yourself feeling guilty for how your departure affects your manager, coworkers, or even its financial consequences for your partner or family.Of course, theres no real benefit to getting hung up in your departure. Instead,take it as a learning experience and an opportunity for introspection about your career goals and personal values.Final thoughtsQuitting a new job isnt ideal- but that doesnt mean its avoidable. Sometimes, its for the better.As you navigate this situation, remember to keep the bigger picture in mind. That is, whether professionally or personally, this job is simply not working out for you. Youd benefit from a different position, and even your employer would be better off with another candidate.While leaving early runs the risk of upsetting your manager and receiving negative social judgment, these consequences wont last forever. With a well-executed departure, youll be on the road to a new role soon enough.*Name has been changed to maintain confidentiality.

3 mindfulness rituals that will make you happy

3 mindfulness rituals that will make you happy3 mindfulness rituals that will make you happyWhy is it so hard to be happy all the time? Why cant ur lives be more like the joyous families in insurance commercials and less like the lives of people making insurance claims?Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreSo what does the research say can make us happier? Mindfulness. It comes from Buddhism but we wont be discussing religion here. Well be looking at ACT Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, as detailed in Russ Harris wonderful bookThe Happiness Trap.This is the scientifically-distilled version of mindfulness. Vetted, tested, with air shocks and spinning rims. No chanting, no monk robes necessary. (Which is good, because as we all know, saffron issoleid my color.)FromThe Happiness TrapACT (pronounced like the word act) was developed in the United States by psychologist Steven Hayes and h is colleagues, Kelly Wilson and Kirk Strosahl. ACT has been astoundingly effective in helping people with a wide range of problems from depression and anxiety to chronic pain and even drug addiction.Okay, to the point Why is it so damn hard to stay happy? Well, the first reason is because we believe a number myths about what happiness is. Time to fix that.Lets get to itThe 4 Happiness MythsMyth 1 Happiness Is the Natural State for All Human BeingsSorry, thats just naive. The human brains default state is not bliss. Anyone who has spoken to me in the morning before Ive had caffeine knows this.But advertising, Facebook, and big parts of our culture reinforce this myth on a near-constant basis.Youve met people who are super happy all the time and, lets be honest here they kinda creep you out.We all have ups and downs. Thats normal and natural. But thinking youre supposed to be ecstatic 24/7 isa waterslide into myth 2Myth 2 If Youre Not Happy, Youre DefectiveWe feel like if theres anyth ing wrong with life than there must be something wrong withus. And so we scramble to fix ourselves because this cant be rightMyth 3 To Create a Better Life, We Must Get Rid of Negative FeelingsEveryone else feels great all the time (pro tip no, they dont) so we should too. And then were running headlong intoMyth 4 You Should Be Able to Control What You Think and FeelWe have reached our final destination. Please take your belongings from the overhead bins and exit to your left.We all spend alotof time trying to control what we think and feel. Do me a favor dont think about bearsHowd that go?Oh, and next time youre sad why dont you just snap out of it. How well does that work?Of course, neither do. We cant control what we think or feel at least not so directly and immediately. Sure, we can influence unterstellung things - but control? Nope.And so were often struggling to change what we cant. And this just fuels the fire of ansicht emotions as we struggle with them. We end up with an xiety about our anxiety, anger about our depression and depression about our anger layered on top of one another like some mental health version of Inception.Or we do things to muscle our thoughts and feelings into compliance(procrastination, drinking, etc.)that offer short-term improvement of our feelings, but in the long-term take us away from our goals and values.This is not the path to a happy life. This is the happiness trap.Youre not going to feel good all the time. Sorry. And you cant directly and immediately control your thoughts and feelings as easily as you change the background image on your smartphone.But thatsokay. Defining happiness as sheer unrelenting non-opiate-fueled-bliss is absurd. We have the happiness definition wrong. Happiness should mean a rich, full and meaningful life - and that includes upsanddowns.FromThe Happiness TrapThe other far less common meaning of happiness is living a rich, full, and meaningful life. When we take action on the things that truly matter deep in our hearts, move in directions that we consider valuable and worthy, clarify what we stand for in life and act accordingly, then our lives become rich and full and meaningful, and we experience a powerful sense of vitality. This is not some fleeting feeling- it is a profound sense of a life well lived. And although such a life will undoubtedly give us many pleasurable feelings, it will also give us uncomfortable ones, such as sadness, fear, and anger. This is only to be expected. If we live a full life, we will feel the full range of human emotions.(To learn more about how you and your children can lead a successful life, check out my bestselling bookhere.)Now thats all fine and dandy - but how do we get out of this trap for good?We need to think differently about thinkingYou Are Not Your ThoughtsThere are facts and there are thoughts. Facts we can all agree on (Alice is frowning.) Thoughts are the judgments, interpretations and stories that our brains incessantly c hatter about all day (Alice is frowning because she hates me just like everyone hates me because Im a badeanstalt person and thats why I will die alone.)Yes, these thoughts are all too often negative.Your brain makes thoughts. Thats what it does. Some true, some false, some useful, some not, and some totally absurd. But its what your brain does, trying to make sense of the world so that it can fulfill its evolutionarily goal of keeping younot-deadby pulling the puppet strings of anxiety, regret, and fear to try to keep you safe from anything that might change yournot-deadstatus.You cant control thoughts any more than you can control a headache. Actions, youre responsible for. Thoughts, not so much. So when it comes to thoughts, youre not the anfhrer of you.But the problem is we oftenfusewith our thoughts. You think those thoughts are you. You think those thoughts are gospel. That voice in your head speaks only truth. Its like hearing the PA system in Wal-Mart and assuming thats God talking. (No, its not God talking. A kid threw up in aisle 4.)FromThe Happiness TrapAll too often we react to our thoughts as if they are the absolute truth or as if we must give them all our attention. The psychological jargon for this reaction is fusion.So your brain weaves a fact into thought, you fuse with it and thats how Alice frowning morphs into Im unlovable. We take these stories our brain creates way too seriously and its like a mental computer virus hijacked your brain.Do you really believe most of your thoughts are all that important? Of course theyre not. If they were mission critical, you wouldnt even get a vote on whether to listen to them. Your brain does super-important stuff like keeping you breathing and your heart beating. Youre not even allowed to touch that software. Because if you were, at some point you wouldve gotten distracted by your phone, stopped inhaling, turned blue and died.And, more importantly, when you get so swept up in negative thoughts, youre mi ssing out on life. Youre engaged with a sad story youre telling yourself - one that isnt even real. Chronic depression is often an ongoing fusion with thoughts about the past. And anxiety is fusion with worries about the future. People with both conditions often exhibit anhedonia, a reduced ability to experience pleasure. They cant experience the joys of the world around them because theyre too wrapped in the stories theyre telling themselves about the world.Now this doesnt mean fusion is bad. Being immersed in a good conversation with close friends can be positive fusion. Fusion can be a flow state. And negative thoughts arent necessarily the enemy either. Sometimes you need a kick in the keister and your brain guilting you is helpful.The issue is we wantthe ability to step back and evaluate these thoughts. Because when were fused it can be hard to see what is real and we can become a puppet to false, negative stories.To be fair, sometimes its tricky to tell facts and thoughts apa rtExample 1They wont like me.Your crystal ball is lovely but, sorry - thats a thought, not a fact.Example 2I cant go for a run because Im too tired.Thoughty-thought-thought. No fact-o delicti. Now I cant go for a run because a spinal injury has paralyzed my legs. Okay, thats a fact.How do you know if youre fused with a thought or feeling? Ask yourself a simple questionIf I wasnt thinking about this, would it still be a problem?Man standing in front of you with a gun? Okay, not a fusion issue. Thats real.Alice is frowning, proving I am an unlovable wretch and I deserve to be boiling in a cauldron in a Hieronymus Bosch painting of Hades.Fusion alert.Alice could just be constipated and you may be awesome.(To learn the 4-step morning ritual that will make you happy all day, clickhere.)Some will reply, But what if itstrue? What if Alice is frowning because she hates me?Well, guess what?It doesnt matterYou Gotta DefuseLots of stuff is true. Epic landfills of truth out there. Doesnt mean you need to be thinking about it. You will never think about most of the true things about the subject of organic chemistry because you dont even know them. So truth is not a good reason for the wheels in your brain to keep spinning unhappily over anything.The more important issue when dealing with troublesome thoughts isIs this helpful? Will further exploration of this thought help me live the life I want?So when negative thoughts become a problem we need to defuse from them. How do we do that? By accepting them, not wrestling with them.Now that word acceptance gets me in a lot of trouble. People think it means caving, giving in, resigning yourself, waving the white flag But thats not a helpful way of looking at acceptance.FromThe Happiness TrapAcceptance does not mean putting up with or resigning yourself to anything. Acceptance is about embracing life, not merely tolerating it. Acceptance literally means taking what is offered. It doesnt mean giving up or admitting defeat it does nt mean just gritting your teeth and bearing it. It means fully opening yourself to your present reality- acknowledging how it is, right here and now, and letting go of the struggle with life as it is in this moment.I see unhelpful thoughts like junk mail. Do you sit down and write a letter back to the sender telling them how awful junk mail is? No. Do you deny its existence? No. You accept it. And then you go do something useful with your time.And this is the goal with defusion we dont try to control our thoughts because that doesnt work (Bears. Dont think about them.) And we dont do a full-on-brain-filibuster arguing with the thoughts because that just makes it worse.We must recognize the thought for what it is just a thought. A story, a judgment. Not necessarily true and definitely not you. Acknowledge it. But dont wrestle with it and give it energy.FromThe Happiness TrapIn a state of fusion, thoughts seem to be the absolute truth and very important. But in a state of defusion, w e recognize that1) Thoughts are merely sounds, words, stories, or bits of language.2) Thoughts may or may not be true we dont automatically believe them.3) Thoughts may or may not be important we pay attention only if theyre helpful.4) Thoughts are definitely not orders we certainly dont have to obey them.5) Thoughts may or may not be wise we dont automatically follow their advice.6) Thoughts are never threats even the most painful or disturbing of thoughts does not represent a threat to us.How hard is it to evaluate other peoples problems and tell them what you would do? Oh, thats easy. (Hand me my gavel, please.) But how hard is it to be objective about your own failings, and then make a habit of consistently doing the right thing from this day forward without beating yourself up? (Id have better luck trying to invade Russia during the winter. By myself.)Stepping back helps you treat your own issues like you treat other peoples. Which actually makes sense because your thoughts are nt you, right?Okay, so youre feeling stressed, anxious or depressed. Thats your Mindfulness Bat Signal from now on. Time to spring into action with your new skills1. Step Back And Isolate ItPause. Ask yourself, What story is my mind telling me now?This immediately provides that distance. For example, a lot of people struggle with self-esteem. But self-esteem is just another thought, another story your brain spins. So as soon as you realizeyouarent saying Im a loser, your brain is saying it, something wonderful happens you dont have to agree.Another simple formula is to take the thought and before it add Im having the thought that Again, this provides that distance.Sounds simple but its quite powerful. Im having the thought that Im a loser is a puzzle to be solved, not a bullet train to getting all emo.FromThe Happiness Trapfirst bring to mind an upsetting thought that takes the form I am X. For example, Im not good enough or Im incompetent. Preferably pick a thought that often recur s and that usually bothers or upsets you Next, take that thought and in front of it, insert this phrase Im having the thought that . . . Play that thought again, but this time with the phrase attached.2) Accept and defuseYour brain occasionally comes up with crazy thoughts, right? But we take its thoughts so seriously at times and let them get us down. Its important to remember how imperfect your brains track record is.So when its negative thoughts try and fuse, gently mock it. Dont get angry or worked up, but not taking it so seriously and teasing it a bit can take the steam out of its painful judgments.Brain Youre a loser.Me Im having the thought that Im a loser. HmmOh, silly brain.Some people will say, I cant dismiss it that easily what if Iama loser? Again, true doesnt matter helpful does. Or some might say, I cant dismiss the feeling that easily. That means youre fused with it. You need to step back and see it as one of many possible stories, not the single, undeniable truth.We all have recurring negative thoughts. Your brain can be a regular jukebox of criticism that never turns off. But rather than despairing over this, accept its nature and take the sting out of it.Imagine your personal playlist of negative-thought-songs. (If youre over 40 youre welcome to call it a mixtape.)Brain Youre a loser.Me Im having the thought that Im a loser. Hmm Oh,thatsong again. Is this from my Im feeling inferior playlist? I think the acoustic version of Nobody likes me is next, followed by an a cappella rendition of Life sucks.If youre laughing at your brain, its hard to get too depressed, anxious or angry.FromThe Happiness TrapAfter doing this exercise, you probably found that by now youre just not taking that thought quite so seriously youre just not buying into it as much. Notice that you havent challenged the thought at all. You havent tried to get rid of it, debated whether its true or false, or tried to replace it with a positive thought.Full disclosure it takes pr actice to get good at this. You wouldnt lift weights once and then quit because you werent all jacked the next day. So keep at it. Try to get better at noticing when youre fused with an unhelpful story. Then defuse it.And count on your short attention span to help the unhelpful thought drift off.Yes, another thought will inevitably come along and try to hijack your brain. Forever and ever. But with practice, youll get better at handling how your mind naturally works.As the saying goes, You cannot stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.(To learn the 4 harsh truths that will make you a better person, clickhere.)Okay, weve learned a lot. (Not a thought, thats a fact I hope.) Time to round everything up and learn why perpetual bliss is a terrible goalSum UpHere are 3 mindfulness rituals that will make you happyMyths of happiness Bliss isnt the default, you arent broken, negative feelings are natural and you cant directly control your feelings. And that is totally okay.You are not you r thoughts Would you really think all that negative stuff if it was up to you? No. Its not you. Hearts beat, eyes blink and brains think. And you are allowed to respectfully disagree with its efforts.You gotta defuse What story is your brain telling you right now?Oh, silly brainSome people might get sad that there is no perpetual bliss at the end of the happiness rainbow. A little difficulty makes life richer. Without it, there could be no pride in overcoming challenges - because there would be no challenges. Thered be no such thing as a comeback. Youd never feel the joy of improvement.Plain and simple youd be happy but bored. We dont want that. We want a well-rounded life.But when the internal challenges get fierce, remember youre not your thoughts. Youre not your brain. So dont take your brain or its thoughts so seriouslyThey didnt like this blog post, Eric.Oh, were playingthatsong again, are we?Join over 330,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.This article first a ppeared on Barking Up the Wrong Tree.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

This is how to have a happy life 4 proven secrets from research

This is how to have a happy life 4 proven secrets from researchThis is how to have a happy life 4 proven secrets from researchSometimes just being happy is hard enough. Figuring out how to have a happylifecan seem downright overwhelming.In his book,Authentic Happiness, University of Pennsylvania professor Martin Seligman (the Big Kahuna of happiness research) says that there arefourtypes of happy lives.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreThats right - bedrngnis only do we have a blueprint for what makes a happy life, you even get four choices. That doesnt mean theyre all created equal. As you move downthe list, the lives get better - but more challenging. The first three all have big strengths - and big weaknesses.And then theres 4 (music swells) The Full Life. Its got it all - but, of course, itsthe trickiest to achieve.Ready for a happy life that works for you? Lets break the 4 down, see which blueprint suits your needs,and find out what life is like for the happiest people on the planet.Alrighty, so whats behind door 1?Happy Life 1 The Pleasant LifeThe goal is life as one long vacation. You want asmany positive feelings and bodily pleasures as you can. Tasty food, good beer, smiles, massages, and laughs.No regrets, no worries, and a head full of positive thoughts.FromAuthentic HappinessThe pleasant life a life that successfully pursues the positive emotions about the present, past and future.So lets say this is your ideal life. How do you get there?Researchers call itPleasant activity training but I call itthings that feel good, do them more often.Yes, it sounds stupidly simple but dont gloss over it, internet skimmer. Research shows that often you dont actually do what you enjoy the most- you do what is easiest. You might love going to the beach, but TV is quicker. If you want ThePleasant Life, make more time forthe things that give you themostpleasure .And for Petes sake,schedulepleasurable things. If awful stufflike dental appointments get a spot on your calendar, so should awesome things. (I enjoy seeingmy friends. So I dont seeem when I seeem I have lunch with themevery Friday at 1PM, like clockwork. And Burger Night is every Monday at 5PM. Dinner with Jason and Lisa is every Sunday night. Nick and I go for a walk and discuss interesting thingsevery Tuesday night. Im sure youre fascinated by my social schedule, but the point is, with a little planning, you can make fun the default.)Nowas enjoyable as The Pleasant Life sounds, its theleasthappy of the four. Why?If youve ever stared at the ceiling at 2AM and said, What am I doing with my life?, well, The Pleasant Life cant help you with that. All it can offer you is yet another funny YouTube video of a dog on a skateboard.(To learn the 4 rituals that neuroscience says will make you happy, clickhere.)Alright, so The Pleasant Life is very pleasant but not much more. Maybe that wor ks for you, maybe not. So whats a happy life thats more engaging - and exciting?Happy Life 2 The Good LifeThe vast majority of the people you admire did not aspire toward The Pleasant Life. Most athletes, entrepreneurs, musicians and anyone whos an expert in their field probably sought what Seligman calls The Good Life.Whats that?Actively doing stuff youre good at and getting lost in it.Trying to improve your skills. Accomplishing goals.FromAuthentic HappinessThe good life using your signature strengths to obtain abundant gratification in the main realms of your life.While The Pleasant Life is all aboutfeeling, The Good Life is focused ondoing.This life means figuring out your signature strengths - stuff youre uniquely good at - and trying to achieve flow as much as possible. Flow is when youre working at something and youre in the zone, not noticing the passage of time because youre caught up in the activity. Dont underestimate how happydoing stuff youre good atcan make youThe m ore hours per day adults believe they use their strengths, the more likely they are to report having ample energy, feeling well-rested, being happy, smiling or laughing a lot, learning something interesting, and being treated with respect.Seligman says The Good Life tops The Pleasant Life because using your signature strengths is more lasting. Pleasure is fleeting while developing skills and achieving goals creates a more profound sense of enjoyment. Using your strengths daily can make you significantly happierformonths.ViaThe Happiness Advantage The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at WorkWhen 577 volunteers were encouraged to pick one of their signature strengths and use it in a new way each day for a week, they became significantly happier and less depressed than control groups. And these benefits lastedEven after the experiment was over, their levels of happiness remained heightened a full month later.So how do you createThe Good Life? Ag ain, look to your calendar. Instead of spending more time doing stuff that feels good,spend more time using yoursignature strengths and being in flow.Are you a natural people partie? Ask your boss if you can handle new clients instead of paperwork. Get a kick out of working with numbers? Ask your partner to clean the house and youll handle the budget and do the taxes.Or spend hours upon hours writing research-backed blog posts. (That produces flowfor at least one person I can think of.)Does The Good Life sound like work? It is. Its definitely not passive. If the only thing that brings you flow is watching Seinfeld reruns while eating pizza, then The Pleasant Life might be a better choice for you. And if The Good Life is takentoo far it can crowd out pleasure. As easy as it is to denigrate The Pleasant Life, we allneedsome pleasure.And muchlike The Pleasant Life, The Good Life can still be meaningless. Video games are great at creating flow and devoting yourself to becoming the bestW orld of Warcraftplayer everwouldbe an example of The Good Life - without being something any of us would call agood life.(To learn the 6 rituals ancient wisdom says will make you happy, clickhere.)So The Good Life beats The Pleasant Life, but its still far from perfect.Both of them lack real meaning. But The Good Life does hold the secret to an evenbetterlife. We just have to add one thingHappy Life 3 The Meaningful LifeThe Meaningful Life is The Good Life - but youre using your signature strengthsin a way that benefits others as well as yourself.FromAuthentic HappinessThe meaningful life using your signature strengths and virtues in service of something larger than you are.So not only do you get the benefits of The Good Life but you also become very satisfied with your work.ViaHow to Find Fulfilling WorkA major study of ethical work by Howard Gardner, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, and William Damon showed that those doing what they call good work defined as work of expert quality tha t benefits the broader society consistently exhibit high levels of job satisfaction.Theres this other nice benefit to The Meaningful Life and its callednot dying. The Japanese call meaning in life ikigai (pronounced icky guy.) And people that haveitlive longer.ViaPursuing the Good Life 100 Reflections on Positive PsychologyEven when likely confounds were taken into account,ikigaipredicted who was still alive after 7 years. Said anotherway, 95% of respondents who reported a sense of meaning in their lives were alive 7 years after the initial survey versus about 83% of those who reported no sense of meaning in their lives.Okay, the other lives all had weaknesses so youre probably wondering what the catch is with this one Its not as immediately pleasurable as The Pleasant Life. And it requiresall the effort of The Good Life. And it can - every now and then - hurt.You have tocareto have meaning in your life. And thats going to mean occasionalun-pleasant feelingsMeaningful involvements increase ones stress, worries, arguments, and anxiety, which reduce happiness.(To learn how to unlock meaning in your life, clickhere.)So all of these lives have their superpowers and their kryptonites. So whats thebest of the bunch? How do the happiest people in the world live their lives?Happy Life 4 The Full LifeTake all of the previous three in moderation and you have The Full Life.FromAuthentic HappinessA full life consists in experiencing positive emotions about the past and future, savoring positive feelings from the pleasures, deriving abundant gratification from your signature strengths, and using these strengths in the service of something larger to obtain meaning.Researchers have studied what thehappiest people on the planetall have in common. Those folksdo not ignore the benefits of The Pleasant LifeThey savor lifes pleasures and try to live in the present moment.And they put in the effort thatThe Good Life requiresThey are deeply committed to lifelong goals and ambitio ns (e.g., fighting fraud, building cabinets, or teaching their children their deeply held values).And they are devoted to helping others. They have some of that icky guy from The Meaningful LifeThey devote a great amount of time to their family and friends, nurturing and enjoying those relationships They are often the first to offer helping hands to coworkers and passersby.Any downsides to The Full Life? Yeah - it can be alot to juggle. Its tricky to stay consistent. You have to find a balancethatworks for you. You will have to make sacrifices.But as the happiest people in the world know its worth it.(To learn more about what the happiest people all have in common, clickhere.)Alright, weve learned a lot. Lets round it all up - and learn the easy way to start livingThe Full LifeSum UpHere are the different happy livesThe Pleasant Life PLEASURE GOOD. PAIN BAD. Schedule more fun.The Good Life Do what youre good at and go as far down that rabbit hole of flow as you can, Alice.The Mean ingful Life The Good Life + helps others.The Full Life Enjoy the pleasures of life, leverageyour skills, seekflow, and use it to helppeople.The Full Lifemight sound like a lot. It might sound hard because of formal terms like signature strengths and intimidating concepts like meaning. Dont let any of that stuff scare you off. Just try thisEvery single day, do something that makes you smile.Every single day, do something youre good at.Every single day, make sure your effortshelp someone else smile.Thats all it takes to start living the happiest lifethere is.And if youre not careful, it might turn you into a good human beingat the same time.This article first appeared on Eric Barker.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from kleine Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEO s10 habits of mentally strong people

Top Tips of Data Scientist Resume

Top Tips of Data Scientist Resume What You Need to Know About Data Scientist Resume It is essential that your data scientist resume convinces the hiring manager youve got technical abilities and software knowledge essential for the job. For instance, a client facing analytics consultant would have to be somewhat very good at structured thinking. There are really three primary questions here. If you dont have any working experience for a data scientist, then you must figure out the way to signal you may do the work anyway. So even when you love your CV, the individual you should like it may not. Make sure that you dont supply them with an effortless means to reject your CV. A CV comprises a thorough description of somebodys work experience, educational background, and abilities. Your CV alone wont land you that dream position even though it is a rather important document in the procedure. You have to show proof to acquire the recruiter to quit skimming. It assures the work a pplicant of more opportunities and the recruiter of locating the ideal candidate. Candidate 2, obviously, since the recruiter can observe the precise work, together with demand and acceptance of the job on the market. Naturally, each job will call for unique abilities and experiences, so make certain you read the job description with care and concentrate on the skills listed by the employer. The comprehensive data will help your possible employer to have a good comprehension of your worth. A biodata focuses on an individuals individual specifics. At the exact same time, all of the critical details are presented properly. In the same way, you have to be detail oriented with your resume. fruchtwein companies start looking for Data Analysts with certifications together with hands-on experience. Buzzwords You might be conscious of the buzzword search. The duration of your CV ought to be ideally 1 page or a maximum of two pages. Writing a resume can be an intimidating task, espe cially in the event that you dont know the best places to start. Big Data is extremely critical for business. For inspiration, have a look at the next Data Analyst resume sample You need a killer Data Analyst resume to stick out in the crowd. Data analysts have turned into a critical portion of virtually every industry with the growth of Information Technology. If you havent done so, you have to make sure you set every effort into emphasizing your scientific and statistical understanding. It is possible to consist of separate job titles like database administration, data management, data cleaning and so forth, together with your expertise in these types of facets. At the very least you should have two or three projects on GitHub to demonstrate that youve got a nice base level of technical competency. So, you ought to focus on showing the breadth of knowledge instead of depth. Data scientists work in an assortment of industries, which range from tech to medicine to government agencies. For instance, Data Science Central lists these top 27 data science keywords you might reference whether it is sensible to achieve that. Used computer programs to handle data. Hence, their efforts are essential to the association in determining targets and achieving them fruitfully. In 90% of instances, the skills they teach you at the universities arent really beneficial in actual life data science projects. Learn more regarding the program and which UW campuses provide the degree here. Almost anyone can create an excellent data scientist resume like that. You are prepared to make your own data scientist resume. You know youd earn a superb data scientist and you have to show them that. Senior data scientists are on board, but theyre not too busy to assist and teach you.

How to Handle HR in a Telecommuting Office - Spark Hire

How to Handle HR in a Telecommuting Office - Spark HireWith more and more companies turning to occasional work from home days (or eliminating a traditional office altogether) its clear that the role of the human resources department has to change too. The HR function becomes much more difficult when employees arent in the office all the time, or at all. If your business operates off of a telecommute model, here are some tips for managing HRRealize that there is no water cooler talkIn many companies, information about the business is spread through passing chatter as people are getting up to get a drink or to go to the bathroom. Even if a formal memo isnt distributed into everyones mailboxes, word spreads. This is gone when you lack a formal office or allow people to work from home. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, you have to realize that information will no longer just naturally spread. To compensate, you need to make time for your employees and make sure you are communica ting thoroughly. Never assume that theyve heard information or are aware of changes in the company.Youll need to work harder to provide benefitsMany companies are able to use their size in order to get a better deal on health insurance policies for their employees, but when these team members are scattered around the country, this can become harder. It may prove challenging to find a company that is equipped to handle this (increasingly common) work setup.Your application process needs to be different than it would be in a traditional officeWhen youre hiring someone who may not be able to come into the office for an interview, your approach will need to change. Additionally, it takes a different kind of worker to fill a telecommute role successfully. Just because the person knows the necessary computer programs or has the required certifications, doesnt mean theyll thrive in a remote work environment. In fact, some of the best employees struggle when they arent going into an office every day. In addition to making sure that this individual is qualified for the position, you have to make sure that a remote work environment would suit them well.Put a plan in place for an employees departureMany times, companies that operate remotely have a large shared database, whether its on Dropbox or another similar system. While this works well and is an effective way of collaborating when youre not in the same room as your colleagues, it can become problematic when an employee leaves, especially if it happens suddenly. Regardless of how confident you feel in an employee, you need to have a plan in place in case they depart (or are asked to leave) quickly. How will you prevent them from taking files with them or potentially causing damage due to their access?Though a remote work environment presents a number of perks (reduced overhead, for example) its important to adjust the companys strategy and protocols accordingly.How have you tailored your own business to be conducive to a remote working environment?